Hey all! I am Shagun Segan and I am trying to address the issue and stigma around how a person is judged based on their physical appearance and why it doesn’t really matter.
When the people around me talked about Self-Love, this concept seemed so foreign to me. For as long as I could remember, I never had any confidence in my physical appearance. Society, its ideals and norms have conditioned me to believe that ‘fat is ugly’ and ‘fat is disgusting’. As a matter of fact and in a practical sort of way, I believed that I was pretty for a fat girl. But there was never any sense of satisfaction when I looked at myself in the mirror.
Now when I start to think about those days, I clearly understand that I was weighed down by my weight. It held me back in every aspect of my life and forced me to always second guess everything, “How would a ‘Fat’ girl look doing this activity?” I found this fear echoing in my head constantly.
Every time I saw plus size women out there embracing themselves and their physical appearance, I felt a jealousy deep down inside my heart. It’s because I wanted that. I wanted to be satisfied by myself just like them.
It all may sound incredibly superficial, but the feeling of being ‘less’ in everything really messes with your head in a way I could never explain to anyone who doesn’t already get it. And then I started realising the truth of this beauty standard that bothered me for ages. I realised that it wasn’t the world who had a problem with how I looked, it was me. Suddenly, it was crystal clear to me. I had been holding myself back from my full potential because I was trying to embrace a version of myself I just wasn’t happy with.
I have worked on myself physically and mentally and I can finally say I’m getting somewhere. For the first time in my life, I told my best friend that my boyfriend was lucky to have me. Because I finally realised My Value. This is a level of confidence I just never had before. It is equal parts self confidence and it also comes with being with someone that makes me feel like I’m someone amazing.
It starts with you and also with the people you let into your life. If you are not happy, try to find the reason behind it and do something about it to bring happiness back to your life. Date a better man, find a better job and get better at looking after yourself.
I spent years pitying myself for the cards I had been dealt until I decided to throw away the whole deck and make my own game. And for the very first time, I feel a sense of satisfaction that was a foreign concept to me before. I have a good education, I have incredible supportive parents, I’m with an incredible man and I have the most supporting friends.
When you have a problem, fix it. It’s us who make it complicated.
